In the wake of the Gamespot fiasco, unfortunately it's no longer easy to surf to any games review site and take their word for it. And in a world where you can't trust anyone else, who do you turn to? That's right, Yahtzee. He may not judge games on the traditional scorecard (plot, graphics, gameplay, etc.), but his brutally honest opinion and punctuationless wit and charm more than make up for it.

In our tribute to the greatest video game reviewer of our time, we have picked our favorite quotes from his last 10 reviews. This list was incredibly hard to make since every word out of the reviewer's mouth is gold, so we did the best we could.

(Click any image to view the entire video review)

Call of Duty 4

"The only time I review a game from recommendation is when it is simultaneously recommended by about 4,000 bleating lambs, which was the case with Call of Duty 4. This game came more highly recommended than a triple cunted hooker, and brace yourself for a shock because it deserves the praise it gets."



Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles

"Part of Resident Evil's charm is that it still takes itself seriously despite having the most atrociously written story and dialog of any human endeavor since Hulk Hogan took one to many clothes-lines to the head and decided he could act."



The Witcher

"You might say it's sexist to treat women like a baseball collecting mini-game so you can ogle their luscious, rounded boobies and melt away between their smooth, milky thighs as the sweat runs in rivulance from their writhing, sensuous body, but... sorry I forgot where I was going with that."



Crysis

"Understand how beautiful Crysis has to be to warrant a mention. Crysis is so pretty that were it an inmate in a male prison it would be the bitch of every motherfucker in that place before you could say Andy Dufray."



Silent Hill Origins

"To me the Silent Hill series is over. And if Silent Hill V convinces me otherwise then I will remove three of my own vertebrae, curl my spine back and eat my own ass."



Super Mario Galaxy

"Watching Mario rocket through space at meteoric speeds while holding his little stubby arms out has a rather perplexing charm to it. It's cutesy and colorful enough to be kid friendly while challenging the adult audience. While some moments are appealingly fucked up when taken out of context, like force-feeding a guy sweeties that he explodes and turns into a planet or crawling on the exterior of a giant woman picking debris out her rampant pubic hair."



Mass Effect

"Finally, the smartest idea that BioWare had was to leak the idea that there is sex in this game. That probably doubled the sales figures right there because the nerd is a tiresomely predictable creature. To him the promise of boobies is like a sandwich to a starving wolf. "



Guitar Hero III

"The point I'm trying laboriously to get to is that Guitar Hero III made Guitar Hero stop being fun. Oh, it was fun for a while, rattling of the ridiculously long hammer-on sequences in Cult of Personality like the fretboard was the crotch of a loved one and I had only a vague idea of where her clitoris was and it was challenging enough to make me feel awesome for pulling it off but then I got to the last venue and the last group of songs in hard mode and came to a screeching halt because they are fucking impossible!"



Assassin's Creed

"Assassin's Creed takes place in some weird parallel universe version of the 12th century holy land where all the major cities are within 5 minutes drive of each other and follows the adventures of Altair, a member of a secret order of assassins who possesses a rather anomalous American accent. Only thats' a lie, the game is actually about some dickhead in the future kidnapped by a rival in the biggest dickhead competition who forces him to relive the genetic memories of his 12th century ancestors."



F.E.A.R Perseus Mandate

"Perseus Mandate is the completely uninformative title of the new F.E.A.R expansion pack. This is the second expansion pack for F.E.A.R to come out since they are very easy to make. All you need to do is open the original game, randomly copy about half the levels and rearrange them tastefully in a new window."



What are your favorite quotes? Let us know!